Sanctifying Hurt

During Thanksgiving vacation our family experienced some major trials that left us with some deep heartache. Our lives were turned upside down.

The majority of us in life have experienced heart break in one form or another. There's no escaping it. It is inevitable, we will all be faced with trials and hard times that leave us sad, broken, and forever changed inside.

Although the heart-break and betrayal has now passed and our family has begun to move on with life, we're all somehow changed by the experience and I'm not sure that we'll ever be the same. It's understandable. It's hard to trust, it's hard to look back and understand how something so bad could have happened to us; however, I can't help but see glimmers of God's blessings and consolations along the way. The hurt was real, the hurt was deep but God did something right in the middle of that hurt and pain that could have never been accomplished through happy times. 

God did something that changed our family for the better. He used that very hurtful situation to bring my husband and I closer together, closer to our children, and ultimately closer to Him. 

With all the hurt and the pain we were experiencing it caused us to drop to our knees, almost moment by moment. Our conversations began to move from the ebb and flow of everyday life about work and school to heartfelt tears and prayers, times that we shared our struggles with temptations of anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness, as well as sanctifying work that Christ was doing in our lives. 

The month long tragedy has ended. The season of that trial is over but as I look back, I cannot help but be thankful to the Lord for bringing me closer to Him and my husband. I grew so much through the experience, in ways that I could have never expected. 

As I was standing over my coffeemaker this morning, waiting for that much needed cup of coffee to brew, I began to reflect and thank God for helping us endure during our time of trial; however, I began to deeply wonder if it was even possible to be truly happy again. Would we be able to experience life the way that we had before? We were so confident, full of faith, and expectant for the future but after the fact I was much less confident and unsure about what the future held. 

I truly believe that we will be happy again; however, I do also believe that we will never be the same again. The experience alone did not change me but rather God used the experience to change me into the disciple, mother, and wife that God is calling me more and more to be. 

Looking back to how my life was before and how it is now, it is not possible to go back. What's done is done and we'll never be the same because of it; however, in hindsight, I would rather not go back. Although I wish the hurt never happened, I'm thankful for the stronger faith and relationship that we both have with Christ. 

I'm thankful for the deeper trust and love he and I have for one another because of the mess and the muck that we went through together. I'm thankful for God's sanctifying grace that carried us through. He never left us, not once. He provided, He brought us through. We rely on Him more now because of it and He taught us that it is possible to have joy and laughter right in the middle of a present and real broken heart. 

He did it all and when He was done teaching us the lesson, the trial was over. He taught us what it means in James 1:2-3 to "count it all joy when you fall into diverse temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith works patience." And what it means that "Happy are those who remain faithful under trials, because when they succeed in passing such a test, they will receive as their reward the life which God has promised to those who love Him (James 1:12)."

I know for certain that although this trial is over, I am wise enough to know that there will be more seasons of trials in the future; however, I expect to face future trials knowing that God will make something beautiful out of the mess. I am certain of what Paul wrote in Romans 8:28 that "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

It is hurt, but it is sanctifying hurt that changes us and creates a glorious work of art within us for His glory and purpose to know Him and become more like Him.

How has a trial changed you? I'd love to hear your story in the comments below.  

God Bless.